Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Regaining Strength

I wrote this on Sunday and completely forgot...

It's currently Sunday afternoon and I am not proud to admit, but I have a mild hangover still lingering from last night. A long story short...I am never drinking that much vodka again....ever. Maybe.

This week was the most stressful week I've had in a long time, and besides last night, my eating and drinking has been on point. Not perfect, but most days have been balanced.

On Tuesday I got back into the swing of things, after my Creative Writing deadline on Monday. I had planned to get back into the gym that same day, but I think looking back that that was a little too ambitious. I made it to the gym bright and early Tuesday and took it slower than I had been a month ago. Instead of doing my usual twenty minutes warm up cardio on the cross-trainer, I did fifteen. And then I moved onto the treadmill and managed to do twenty minutes between 4.5 and 5.0, just enough to keep my heart rate up and sweat some more. After the treadmill, I gulped down some water (damn did I need it) and dragged my already tired ass to the the stair-master machine. I did 5 minutes at level 5 and it wasn't too bad. But I was feeling it in my ass the next day, let me tell you. I had to climb the stairs to the I.T suite to hand in yet another assignment, and I was definitely doing a sort of waddle/limp thing.

While I was there I also did some weight and resistance training, using both the machines and free weights. I am really determined to build strong arms with definition. I feel like this one is always a goal of mine though! I quickly realised that I had indeed, as my fears confirmed, lost some strength. I knew my arms didn't look as toned, but it must have taken a little strength as well. That made me feel disappointed at first, but I went back on Thursday feeling determined.

My goal was to get to the gym as much as I could this week, and I did. I kept that promise to myself even on Friday when I wasn't really feeling it.

Wednesday I couldn't make it. Like I have already mentioned I handed in my last ever assignment that day, and I just couldn't let it go. I wanted to hold on to it, taking pride in it like it was my child. I finally let it go at 17:00, after a much to do palava involving printing my work, and have been having anxiety over it ever since. Feeling exhausted and slightly cross-eyed from looking at the screen all day I waddled home (you see I have a thing about waddling), and slumped myself into my seat and didn't move a good few hours. I was exhausted. I planned to lie-in the following morning, the Thursday, but at 05:30 my brain woke me with a critical analysis of the piece I had handed in the day before. Thanks for that brain! Surprisingly though the day went fine. I got up after an hour of just lying there driving myself crazy and listening to music to drain my sorrows my mind out.

I decided to boil the kettle, and brew up a cup of chai tea (my new favourite hot caffeineted mug of delightfulness). I took my tablets, ate a banana and debated breakfast. Was it to early to eat? I decided on no, and an hour later I was boiling milk on the hob like an old fashioned so and so, ready to poor it over my weetabix. In bed I watched YouTube videos and enjoyed just lying there all comfy and cosy, letting the morning pass me by. By the time I moved from my warm and comfy pit it was 09:30. I decided I would run some errands, get some fresh produce in, and head to the gym. All of which I managed to accomplish.

Which brings me to Thursdays session. The sky was grey and overcast, and drizzle was dribbling down my face, but I was determined to put everything I had into the session. And I did. Every ounce of my being went into that session and I was incredibly sore the next morning for class.

Thursday's session consisted of  my usual twenty minutes cardio on the cross-trainer, fifteen minutes on the treadmill, and five minutes on the stairmaster. I was back I told myself. I've got this. And my confidence didn't let me down! Once the cardio was out of the way, I tackled the strength part of my workout. And the first half had given me such confidence (I imagined that I was an athlete), I smashed it. I did more reps of everything, especially arms and abs and I felt amazing for it. This is the reason I go, I thought, for moments like these ones. Moments that you feel like you could carry on forever, like nobody could stop you and you could do this all night. That is until the next sit-up becomes painful, and puts you back in your amateur place.

On Friday I made it to the gym again, but this time I really had to coax myself. How much do you want this, I asked myself? Will it be worth it? Now, I don't know about you, but for me the exercise is always worth it and there's never a session I think that I shouldn't have gone. It just doesn't happen, and with that in mind after a long walk to the docs and back I walked through the dreaded double doors to get it done with. I was in there an hour and half I believe and after the first ten minutes I was really into it. I did Thursdays circuit of events and got into it. I even experimented with some new ab and arm moves.

So all in all, despite it being a stressful week, it was a good one.


Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Everyone Has To Start Somewhere

I heard this saying the other day. I can't remember in exactly what context it was said, but it was something that definitely resonated with me.

And it is true, 'We do all have to start somewhere...'. Where that may be is upto us. We are the ones who have that control.


Sometimes it may feel as though it is slipping out of our hands, but stop, breathe, and take another look. You still have the reins in your hand, you are still in control.

But that's something I had certainly forgot up until this week. When I truly remember it, it tends to stick around for a long time. And I remembered the other day just how long I have made it. I made it a total of nine moths before crashing out, and that's not bad at all, is it? I don't think so, and in fact that's one of my best attempts. But then I remembered something, the things that got me through I had lost. I had stopped working out and I no longer had the faith and confidence. And these things are vital for how I got to where I am today.

This says it all. Do you see other body types and be like yeah "I #want that, but ill never get that. I may as well keep eating these chips and chocolate. Its ways too much effort to get there and like that, and besides when i try, i fail, and just get worse than i was!" #Guesswhatpeeps. Your lieing to yourself! If she/he can, why in tar nations cant you.?! Exactly. You just need to get back on the wagon with the right people and YOU WILL GET there! :) Everyone has to start somewhere, U will too

So, here's to the next stint. Let's hope it lasts as long as the last. And if you are thinking of giving up, remember, 'Everyone has to start somewhere' and make that day today. Go on, you know you want to...I know I do.

It's not about where you are right now, or where you've been for however long, that's just temporary or in the past. It is about where you are going, and that's up to you.

When's your best place to start again? Or to move on...

xo Chloe xo

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Procrastination and A Full Plate!

The full plate I am in fact referring to is that of my life. There is so much to do, and I just can't find where to begin.

 If I start one thing I am neglecting the other, and I battle this vicious circle until I finally pick a path.

The problem is, this doesn't always happen straight away and by then a few hours of my life has been wasted. A few hours where I could have gone to the gym, come home and showered.

I honestly can't tell you how many hours I have wasted in contemplation and avoidance. The two seem to just go hand in hand. It's almost like I am contemplating to avoid!

There's no time like the present

Writing that down, and it somehow becomes more funny and I can definitely see where my wasted time is going.

Do you ever have that problem? Too much to do, so instead you do nothing.

The logic of the above is baffling beyond believe, and as a logical, everything must have an answer kind-of-a-girl, then I realise wholeheartedly how crazy the above is.

But I also realise the things that are holding me back, and how and why I am procrastinating....yep I realise these little add-ons that I am using to explain, only make me sound crazier.

But with all this said I am sure I am not alone. Procrastination comes to us at some point or another, usually when we least what it to spring, and that's exactly how I am feeling now.

I actually...and this is the god's honest truth, stopped going to the gym because it was cutting into my studying time. But now looking back I realise that it was actually removing me of unwanted stress and giving me balance. Yes, it is fair to say that I've been a right plonker!

This is why I am heading back to the gym once I am back in Cheltenham again. So not only have I not been going, but my genius plan of more study-time failed also.

And I have a feeling procrastination isn't something that just fades and falls away with age either?!

So, that's why I have decided to write a list, prioritise things on that list, and then get that work or those things done.

I am beginning to realise that I am not Superwoman (though I have had those dreams), and so sometimes things need to get left behind and knocked of the list.

And that's just something I need to be ok with.

There's no time like the present. #inspiration #wisewords

Q.) What's the craziest way you procrastinate?

A.) I clean everything, even my shoes!

xo Chloe xo